Manifesto of a recovering codependent

I will follow my values and my conscience, even if it upsets other people.

I’m not a puppet. I am a living and breathing person and I have my own likes, dislikes, wants and needs.

It’s not my job to make everyone happy.

I will no longer please people just to stay out of conflict. Conflict is a necessary part of life. It’s just a moment in time, it won’t last forever. This too shall pass.

I will no longer neglect my own needs.

It’s not only my responsibility to make a relationship work. The other person has equal responsibility.

I will establish personal boundaries and enforce them. It’s ok if this will make people angry, sad or disappointed with me.

If a conflict arises, I will stay calm like a rock in the ocean. The waves of anger and disappointment that crash into me can’t harm me and I am not going to back down.

I will stop obsessing about peoples thoughts and feelings about me.

I will stop trying to read other peoples minds or feel their feelings.

I will no longer participate in other peoples drama.

I am ok with others not getting what they thought they would get from me. It’s ok if I don’t meet their expactations.

I can’t control other peoples words and actions. I am only responsible for my own words and actions.

I accept others just as they are and don’t try to change them.

I am not inferior to other people, I am equal and I deserve to be treated with respect.

I will no longer put other peoples needs before my own.

I will no longer compromise my values in order to get approval from others.

I will no longer try to fix, rescue or save people from their bad choices. It’s not my job to repair other peoples lifes or to solve their problems.

I will no longer give unsolicited advice.

I will no longer feel guilty when I say “no”. I don’t need to do things just out of obligation.

I will no longer give in to an abusive person just to keep the peace.

Question: Would you like to add something to this manifesto? Please tell me in the comments!

Until next time,

P.S.: If you, too, think that you have a codependent personality, I have created a cheat sheet that will show you how to start building boundaries in your own life. You can download it here.

[Photo by Casey Horner on]

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